I've been journaling some on paper, which in some ways is easier for me - no compulsion to check grammar or spelling, no need for it to make sense to anyone but me. No writing and rewriting of sentences, rereading paragraphs over and over... Regardless, I find that I still self-censor. Even though no one (god, please) will ever read it. So I'm coming back to this format - the flow is easier for me, I generally prefer typing to pen and paper, and I can actually decipher what I wrote if I ever attempt to reread it. My handwriting can be a mystery, even to me. When I journal with pen and paper I find that I simply summarize my day, but never really discuss about anything that I find interesting. An imaginary audience is easier to write to than one that I know doesn't exist. In summary, pen and paper journaling makes me feel even more like a weirdo. And that bar is set high.
So. It's the apocalypse and I felt that I should start blogging again, even though there is a 95% chance that I will not come back to this site for another year. Or two. Assuming we have, say, internet and power and a functional society at that point. (Aside: I'm calling this the apocalypse because it's funny to me, and probably a little true. Before this all started, post apocalyptic fiction was, hands down, my favorite literary genre. You know what? Not anymore. I take it back. JK JK JK, please stop, I want off this ride.) I'm mostly kidding. I picked a super awesome time to change careers. If I hadn't abandoned the office life, I would currently be on a paid vacation, "working" from home. Honestly, I still don't regret the move, but it is certainly an interesting time to be a nurse.
In the last entry, I wrote about my impending move from night shift to day shift on SDU. HOLY BALLS that was a really, really tough transition. It was like working on a completely different unit. The work load was double, the pay was less, and it was not a good time. My body and mind much prefer day shift, and I loved my coworkers, but it was intense. There are positives and negatives to both shifts, and I will admit I learned much more when working days - a majority of the doctors and advanced practice nurses like to teach, which is awesome.
I sprained my right ankle for the thousandth time in January of last year, and was off of work until June. I had arthroplasty in March of 2019 - today is actually the one year anniversary of my surgery, isn't that random? It finally feels somewhat normal, but I definitely wouldn't go back and repeat the experience, either. I am still not back in the squat rack as far as lifting legs, and the gym has continued to take a back seat to work. I did about a year of day shift on SDU before accepting the most awesome position ever. I'm one of two admissions nurses in our hospital. We work in the ED and do the admissions paperwork and sometimes the med recs for newly admitted patents. I love getting to work in the emergency room - I get to see way more cool stuff, and I love the team based atmosphere. I also adore the staff down there, and am constantly and consistently blown away by their skills and abilities, especially how they always manage to stay calm in even the most intense circumstances. (Y'all, that is not me.) My position is part of the float team and we are a staffing reserve - as in, when the shit hits the fan, we stop doing admissions and go fill in as a floor nurse wherever needed.
I tend to get pulled into the ICU, mostly to task, but periodically to take a team, and with the impending medical crisis, I've requested to be officially ICU trained. That starts in a week, and I am super excited about it, but also low key terrified. I LOOOOVVVVEEEEE and respect the heck out of all the unit nurses, and hope they can tolerate my stupid questions for a few weeks. It is not a secret that I dislike, correction, despise needles. Bloodwork/IV's. Hate, hate, double hate. It's all psychological at this point - I have the yips. I hate failure. If I know I don't stand a decent chance of succeeding at something (literally anything, not just at work), I dread it. I hate making my patients uncomfortable, and feel that they doubt ALL of my abilities as a nurse just because I'm not a good phlebotomist. It's a work in progress. I just need to suck it up and do it.
I also need to change the title and tag for this blog, since I'm not really a fitnesses-douche anymore.
Just a regular one.
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| Not COVID related but holy shit. |
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| At least the apocalypse makes for good memes. |
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| If they shut down the entire state, I still get to go to work. My marriage will survive, even if I don't. Also, please ask me how grateful I am to not have children right now. I feel for you parents. I can't imagine. |
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| The slow ones, though, not that 28 Days Later shit. Also, these memes are like a list of movies I will watch during the quarantine. |
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| I will write more about this topic at a later date. I'm livid with a particularly selfish family member right now. The boomers are worse than the Tide pod eaters at this point. |
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| This is almost too close to the truth to be funny. |
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| I will never not share a Buffalo Bill meme ❤️ |
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